Octopus' Garden

Saturday, September 06, 2008

HAPPY HOUR: BACK TO SCHOOL EDITION

1.
Recipe for SoDakian Martini = Miller Lite + tomato juice + olives. (Do not shake and do not stir. Just swill at will.)

2.
"They Don't Make Them Like They Used to Any More":

Gentleman Sitting Catty-Corner: His wife (gesturing to the fellow sitting next to him) had fifteen children! My wife had seven children! I bet neither one of you end up having anything close to that amount of children!

AH: WTF?

Lu: WTF!

3.
"I Had Sort of Planned on a Low-Key Evening -- That Is, Until Shots Were Sent Over from the Neighboring Table":

Lu: OMG! It's only 6:30, and we're already doing shots!

AH: OMG! I know! Well . . . at least it's not a straight shot of bourbon!

Lu: Ha! You know what? I don't believe Thor Spam (name changed to protect the innocent) can't remember anything from Cool Breeze's party last week.

AH: You don't buy it?

Lu: No. I think he's being a man-boy.

AH: Hey! We should coin a new term for unacknowledged dipsomania, then! We'll call it being ThorSpammed!

Lu: Like, OMG! I was so ThorSpammed last night! I can't remember a thing!

AH: Exactly. And then we can mock him on FaceBook by writing updates along the lines of: "OMG! I was so ThorSpammed last night! I can't remember a thing!" Would that be mean? Are we Mean Girls?

Lu: Yeah. Kind of. Hee.

AH: Hee.

4.
Time-lapsed rain clouds keep on cruising by like long dark cars with tinted windows, and it remains miraculously cool and sunny and blue. A turkey vulture parabolas the Vermillion water tower, visible behind the worn brick fence. BBQ pinks on the grill and around the corner, there's the promise of deep-fried dough as the street festival sets up. A law professor dances the polka with his daughter.

5.
Happiness sizzles deep in my pocket like an electric tingle of loose change.

6.
The Public Domain Tunes Band plays a version of The Drunken Hiccups -- learned from Knut Jensen, two-fingered fiddler from Centerville. The hiccups are pizzicati, or maybe it's that the pizzicati are hiccups, pinging out from the midst of all of the rapid-fire intricate fingerwork being executed by The Fabulous Omar . . . and it's a beautiful evening and fall is coming on, and what could be more fabulous than this?



posted by Artichoke Heart at 5:21 PM

6 Comments:

Ah. Here it is, those notes you've been taking. This is what I've been waiting for.
Blogger Lu, at 6:55 PM  
Obatch, Roripaff -- Did you consider these to be billable hours?

I want to sip Dakotinis and get the skinny on being Thor Spammed!
Thor Thpammed?
Blogger superbigmuch, at 7:21 PM  
Lu: Do my notes jive with your notes?

Superbigmuch: I ask you. Is happiness billable???? Is billability thorspammable????
Blogger Artichoke Heart, at 10:30 PM  
I realize Dakotatinis are perfectly acceptable write-offs.

Superbigmuch regrets the error. :)
Blogger superbigmuch, at 4:39 PM  
Your notes jive with mine. Though...I might have spent a bit more time on the turkey vultures. You know me...
Blogger Lu, at 4:12 PM  
Well, I know that you are obsessively fixated on the turkey vultures, but is confusing. I don't know if referencing them too much is upsetting for you? Or if you feel validated by obsessive referencing? Lu's got a lot of rules, you know!!
Blogger Artichoke Heart, at 12:48 AM  

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