Garage Saling:

JM: [Bursting into kitchen, where I've just sat down to my morning coffee.] Okay! So you have fifteen minutes!

AH: What?

JM: You have fifteen minutes to get ready!

AH: Get ready for what?

JM: We going to garage sale! You have to hurry up!

AH: Um . . . I'm not going to be ready to go anywhere in fifteen minutes.

JM: You slow poke! Okay! You don't get to go! We leave you here by yourself!

AH: Okay.

JM: How many minutes you need?

AH: Forty-five. I need coffee.

JM: Forty-five? Hello, forty-five!

AH: Forty-five.

JM: You crazy! Okay! I going to set kitchen timer for forty-five minutes! When it go ching? You better pay attention! If you not ready, we going to go without you, and you going to get left behind!

AH: [Under breath.] What? And miss out on the Hoardy McHoardersons' field trip to the local garage sales?

JM: What you mumbling?

AH: Nothing!

JM: Don't talk back to your mother! And hurry up! Timer chooka-chooka-ing!

Wal-Mart:

JM: Don't leave your bag in cart!

AH: What? I'm not going anywhere!

JM: No! Somebody going to snitch you purse! You such stupid not pay attention!

AH: I'm standing right here.

JM: No! Don't be stupid! Somebody snitch! [Grabs shoulder strap to my messenger bag and wraps it around my forearm multiple times like a tourniquet.] There! You ave to keep wrap around arm so no snitch!!

At the Farmer's Market:

JM: What's that beeping sound again? Sound like peep-u!

AH: That's my cell phone.

JM: Who calling you now?

AH: Nobody's calling me. I have a text message.

JM: Whaaa? Sex-u message?

AH: Text message.

JM: Sex-u message? Who keep sending you sex-u message?

AH: Lots of people are sending me sex-u messages. I'm very popular.

JM: They must be nuts! Must be stalker!

AH: Pretty much.

JM: Oh, look! Watermelon!

AH: They're having a watermelon demonstration.

JM: Hey! Let's play trick on your father. Let's get a yellow watermelon and we pretend it's a red watermelon and we don't tell him. He going to be so shock when cut it!!! Hee!

AH: Hee! Okay. Yeah, let's do that.

LMFAO!!! Thanks I needed that! A sex-u message, huh? I do I get those? I just get boring text messages. Please keep these coming!

Me Japanese. Me play trick. Me put yellow watermelon in place of red.

Doesn't have same ring.

Why is my word verification: sxhug ?

I feel slightly cheated that we got no scenes from the garage sales themselves. Or did JM end up leaving your lazy, coffee-slurping, such-slow self behind?