Lately, I've been fickle about apples--every week declaring another variety my current favorite. A few weeks back it was the Cameo. Before that the Pink Lady. Last week it was Braeburns. And Galas, to me, taste like flower petals. Now, though, I'm in love with the Pacific Rose. They are honeyed and crisp and big and pinky-red and round and well . . . just so darn pretty.

And then there's the fishnet bag full of Clementines. So bright and juicy, small and sweet. Their thin, sunripe skins making my hands fragrant.

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Last week I read fiction at NSU in Abber Dabber, SD and visited with my dear friend P. at her charming new house. It was fun to read and talk about the music school stories, and gossip about my characters behind their backs. All in all, a great trip.

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In the wake of the recent Shower Curtain Mauling by Crazed and Ferocious Beastlets, I was forced to go shower curtain shopping. I found the curtain depicted below (which is fabric, and hopefully therefore less gnawable) on clearance at Target, but it's just not, well . . . doing it for me.



I confess, that I tend to have unreasonably high expectations from a shower curtain. I want it to coordinate with my towelage and my bath mattage. I need it to complement the claw foot bathtub, but I'd like for it to be modern at the same time. I want it to brighten up the room. I want it to be a little bit of a surprise. I want it to be aesthetically pleasing, but not take itself too seriously. (What's worse than a pretentious shower curtain, yes?) I want a touch of whimsy, but I don't want the shower curtain to be goofy, because the shower curtain's visible from most of the rooms in the apartment. So it also needs to function organically within the apartment-at-large. And, as if this order weren't already tall enough, the shower curtain apparently now needs to be gnaw-resistant.

So here are the current candidates under consideration. I'm leaning toward Option #1 (Geisha kitsch! On the shower curtain!) vs. Option #2 (Entomologically correct butterflies! On the shower curtain!), but perhaps you, oh blogosphere, would like to cast your vote in the Who Wants to be Artichoke Heart's House of Wayward Cats' Next Shower Curtain Primaries?

Option #1:


Option #2:


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Look closely. Here is the vet-assistant-with-no-pants toy that Yuki likes to prop up against the futon pillows in the middle of the night for me to find in the morning. Because she's funny that way.



Yuki has named the vet-assistant-with-no-pants toy shortmark. Because she's just funny that way, too.



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Also? I'm considering moving my headquarters over to WordPress.

That is all.

What, you couldn't find a shower curtain with artichoke hearts on it?

I vote for the Geisha kitsch curtain, unless you think your Japanese Mother would be offended. In which case, no curtain whatsoever.

Finally, how do you know that the toy-with-no-pants is a vet assistant?

Yes, the Geisha kitsch curtain is, I think, all that you demand of it. I understand your preoccupation with shower curtains. I always look at them at various big box stores and then decide they are too expensive. But I never stop searching....

Also, random thought: I think we should start referring to our house as "The Painted Lady...."

Geisha kitsch! It's colorful and playful and geisha kitschy.

Does this mean you're in the midst of a decorating spasm? Or is it more like an embellishment twitch?

Geisha kitsch! Geisha kitsch! More whimsical and colorful than the butterflies.

The vet assistant with no pants looks shyly delighted to be pantsless.

Cynical: I, too, was shocked at the artichokelessness in the universe of shower curtains. And I know it's a pantsless vet's assistant b/c of the scrubs top, and also b/c this company makes pantsless vets as well . . . signified as vets by their glasses and white lab coats.

Superbigmuch: I hear you re: the shower curtain fetish, sister! And yes, that's part of the challenge . . . b/c there's a, well, threshold on how much one can comfortably spend on a fabulous shower curtain without shame and, well, bankruptcy. I'm totally into The Painted Lady as a name for our house. I think we should even have a flag made, yes? (Or flaygue, as our good friend Lu would say.)

P: It has gone way, way, way beyond decorating spasm. Even beyond decorating paroxysm. I would classify it as something more along the lines of a grad mal seizure at this juncture.

Dr. M: I know . . . shortmark is totally all like, Tee hee. I am pantsless!.

I'm commenting on apples--I saw a guy on TV recently describing the seed bank they're stocking in the Arctic, way underground, super cold, with seeds to save us in case of a doomsday situation, which might be anything from an asteroid to a prolonged drought.

Anyway, to keep things really cheery, I wanted to note that the guy mentioned that apple varieties are down to about 300 or so now from about 7100 named varieties in about 1850. Imagine having all THOSE to choose from.

Oh, apples. I heard from a good source that they produce WHITE apples in Japan. Oh my goodness! Could it be true!? I thought it was just a Donald Hall poem.

I once spent $55 on a shower curtain. And now it's in a box in the closet.

I vote for the Geishas.

~ Tiffany

Archie McPhee has a heavy vinyl sushi shower curtain that looks to be cat-proof.