(And in which I also realize the faux-antiquated "In which I am . . . " titles are of limited amusement, if they even were amusing in the first place.)

Dear Blogosphere:

I am stranded at Chicago O'Hare airport. Again!

My flight to Sioux Falls has been canceled. Furthermore, Northwest Airlines and United Airlines played ping-pong with me for about an hour this morning, as neither one really wanted to claim/deal with me. (United initially said that since I was originally a Northwest customer switched over to United on the outbound flight, they had limited agency to reroute me to other airlines, and Northwest said that now that I was switched over to United, they had limited agency to reroute me as well.) There was a sad period of time in which I was a customer floating about in the airport without an airline. I contemplated a future of simply living in Chicago O'Hare. (Because I figured that upon departing the secured area I would undoubtedly cease to exist altogether, thereby prompting either (a) my arrest, or (b) an existential crisis from which there would be no hope of recovery).

I am now on standby for a 5:10 flight to Sioux Falls. In the event that doesn't pan out, I will be on standby for an 8:30 flight to Sioux Falls. In the meantime, everyone is also hoping that the weather, which is questionable, doesn't become markedly worse, resulting in cancellation of flights on which one is hoping against all hope, to fly out on standby today.

There may or may not be available flights out to Sioux Falls tomorrow.

But the good news is that I can probably get out on Tuesday.

The Standby Situation here, I might add, is totally Lord of the Flies. One family was Sophie's Choiced on a flight to Appleton, Wisconsin.

Dear Blogosphere, please send me Emergency K-Rations (or dispatch Catherine Zeta Jones) should I end up stranded in Chicago O'Hare ad infinitum . . like in that Tom Hanks movie.

What a trip! I hope it a) all works out, b) doesn't drive you insane, as it would me, and c) helps drive these airlines to have a conscience. Flying's getting worse and worse. If you have to blog from the aiport forever, I've thought of some new blog titles for you to mull over: O'Hare's Garden, The Year of the Stranded, This Airport Has No Sushi and I Can't Live Like This. Hope you're home soon.

Horrors, how dreadful! Take lots of airbornes and orange juices. We'll exorcise the deamons when you get back. Hugs, Tiffany