Octopus' Garden

Monday, April 09, 2007


Today I walked by the river, where the hoofprints of deer crimped the mud into dainty, tear-shaped ridges. Water cycloned in cold swift eddies. Tight buds were swelling on the tree branches in an insistence of green aching.

Today I did something completely out of character. Today I did something that made myself vulnerable. And you know what? I didn't come unraveled. All my limbs didn't fall off. My head didn't burst into flame.

Today I discovered that one could buy schlocky, yet nonetheless delicious, grocery-store carry-out sushi at the Hy-Vee. I ate spicy tuna roll for supper tonight while watching old episodes of The Gilmore Girls.

Today I took an emotional risk. I have taken all sorts of crazy risks in any number of ways throughout my life, but as the mollusk-without-a-shell girl, I will confess that I have become much too adept at avoiding emotional risk-taking. What might look like emotional risk-taking from the outside is really more about allowing collisions with unviable situations, that I know from the outset are ultimately unviable, to happen. So, I took a tiny risk. Just a little one. But I did it. And you know what? I didn't come unraveled. All my limbs didn't fall off. My head didn't burst into flame.

Today someone interpreted my dreams for me.

Today I tell neurosis to back the fuck off, bitch. I tell anxiety to suck my spectral phallus. Today, and even tomorrow, and most likely even the day after as well, I'm going to be all about the jouissance.

Today I tilted at windmills. And lost.

But that's okay. And you know why? That's right . . . because I am so all about the jouissance, baby!
posted by Artichoke Heart at 1:50 AM


You ROCK! I am going to eat grocery store sushi and take an emotional risk today in emulation of you.

Vive la jouissance!

Blogger Karin, at 11:49 AM  
This entry made me smile... and gave me a needed boost of energy as well! Thank you.
Blogger anne, at 1:20 PM  
yes, you certainly do rock and you are quite the inspiration...but i think i will only be inspired to eat grocery store sushi and leave the emotional risks to the likes of you and karin!
Blogger shining example of human potential, at 4:57 PM  
Keep fighting windmills, you'll get stronger, and eventurally the wind will die down. Besides, stong wind makes for good kite flying! =)
Anonymous b, at 11:27 PM  
Fuck yeah, baby!
Blogger Lu, at 11:28 PM  
Thank you for inspiring me today, A.H.

With a feeling of jouissance, I will tell the next driver that flips me the bird to go suck my spectral phallus. ;)
Blogger Lenka, at 10:29 PM  

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