Today I walked by the river, where the hoofprints of deer crimped the mud into dainty, tear-shaped ridges. Water cycloned in cold swift eddies. Tight buds were swelling on the tree branches in an insistence of green aching.

Today I did something completely out of character. Today I did something that made myself vulnerable. And you know what? I didn't come unraveled. All my limbs didn't fall off. My head didn't burst into flame.

Today I discovered that one could buy schlocky, yet nonetheless delicious, grocery-store carry-out sushi at the Hy-Vee. I ate spicy tuna roll for supper tonight while watching old episodes of The Gilmore Girls.

Today I took an emotional risk. I have taken all sorts of crazy risks in any number of ways throughout my life, but as the mollusk-without-a-shell girl, I will confess that I have become much too adept at avoiding emotional risk-taking. What might look like emotional risk-taking from the outside is really more about allowing collisions with unviable situations, that I know from the outset are ultimately unviable, to happen. So, I took a tiny risk. Just a little one. But I did it. And you know what? I didn't come unraveled. All my limbs didn't fall off. My head didn't burst into flame.

Today someone interpreted my dreams for me.

Today I tell neurosis to back the fuck off, bitch. I tell anxiety to suck my spectral phallus. Today, and even tomorrow, and most likely even the day after as well, I'm going to be all about the jouissance.

Today I tilted at windmills. And lost.

But that's okay. And you know why? That's right . . . because I am so all about the jouissance, baby!

You ROCK! I am going to eat grocery store sushi and take an emotional risk today in emulation of you.

Vive la jouissance!

B-Cat

This entry made me smile... and gave me a needed boost of energy as well! Thank you.

yes, you certainly do rock and you are quite the inspiration...but i think i will only be inspired to eat grocery store sushi and leave the emotional risks to the likes of you and karin!

Keep fighting windmills, you'll get stronger, and eventurally the wind will die down. Besides, stong wind makes for good kite flying! =)

Thank you for inspiring me today, A.H.

With a feeling of jouissance, I will tell the next driver that flips me the bird to go suck my spectral phallus. ;)