Octopus' Garden

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


1. Once Bitten . . .

AH: You are a very, very, very bad kitten!

Nobu: Yes, but I'm cute.

AH: You're very cute. But the way you just bit the earpiece to my cell phone in two while I was mid-conversation? Very, very bad!

Nobu: I have exceedingly sharp teeth. You should fear my fanglets. Feed me turkey until my stomach explodes, or the iPod's getting it next.

AH: I don't even know how to respond to that.

Nobu: You're kind of hurting for blog content these days, aren't you?

AH: Pretty much.

* * *

2. Crack Mail

AH: Okay, so I don't mean to be completely paranoid in that I'm Secretly and Inextricably Convinced that My Mail Carrier's Withholding My Mail way that I sometimes get, but did you read that e-mail I forwarded to you, and did I sound totally spastic?

PEP: Well, it read like you'd been drinking lots and lots and lots of caffeine. Had you been drinking lots and lots and lots of caffeine? You didn't really even sound like yourself. I actually thought it was kind of hilarious.

AH: Hilarious as in the e-mail was in any way remotely funny, or hilarious as in I came off sounding like I was on crack?

PEP: Hilarious like you were on crack.

AH: Great. I knew it! I sent crack-mail. How embarrassing is it that I sent crack-mail?

PEP: Pretty embarrassing.

* * *

3. Bra Mojo

AH: And here's the thing. I was wearing The Good Bra.

CH: You put on The Good Bra?

AH: That's what I'm telling you. I had on The Good Bra. And it's just not right when the semiotics of The Good Bra unexpectedly go all haywire like that. I don't even know if the problem was complete transparency or not enough transparency. And I'm still talking semiotics here, not millinery.

CH: I'm not sure I know what all of that means, but I still get the gist of it. You had on The Good Bra.

AH: Exactly. I had on The Good Bra. And so now I'm worried that I've lost my Good Bra Mojo.

CH: Oh, sweetie! [Laughing.] That's completely tragic! Don't say that.

AH: No. I'm afraid it's true. My Good Bra Mojo's been jinxed.
posted by Artichoke Heart at 1:16 AM


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