Confession: Sometimes the only reason I get up in the morning is (yeah, yeah, for those of you who know me in real life okay, "morning" is, at least during the summer hiatus, egregiously euphemistic) because I get to drink the coffee!

Confession: Sometimes I bribe myself into going to bed a little bit earlier by reminding myself that when I wake up, I can drink the coffee!

Confession: Sometimes, I facilitate the gap / mediate the distance / negotiate the existential abyss / attempt to cheat the space-time continuum by loading up the coffee maker the night before so that, in the midst of the B-Movie Alien Swamp Fog that (as I've mentioned before) characterizes my first few waking hours, all I have to do is stumble about in my Swamp Fog Zombie Stupor into the kitchen, squint and jab and squint and jab and squint and jab at the little button a few times until I actually hit it (yes, that’s a lot of squinting and jabbing, but hey, it’s the B-Move Alien Swamp Fog Zombie Stupor), and voila! I am that much closer to the drinking of the coffee!

Which was my thinking tonight  i.e.,, to prepare myself to be that much closer to the drinking of the coffee!

Which I did. Then sat back down at the laptop to resume my work, only to become dimly aware of the blissful gurgling and puffing and snorting sounds of the coffee maker preparing the oh-so-delightful coffee!

Yes. I loaded up the coffee maker and, on auto-pilot, apparently went ahead and hit the button. And so now it is 1:00 a.m., and I have a hot, fresh pot of the aromatic, and most-delicious coffee!

The sad part? I really, really, really want the coffee!

I want it now. I want to drink the coffee!

Damnit.

* 4:00 a.m.-ish Update
Dear Internets:
Sometimes I'm a total fuckwit.
Guess what?
I drank the coffee! (It was delicious. So French Roast-y and robust.)
Love,
AH

** 5:00 a.m.-ish Update
Shit.

ahhhh. temptation. I feel you, sister.

I shouldn't be laughing, should I?

Because that sounds just like something I would do.

I hope you finally came down. :)

Hey, sleep in. That's the "hiatus" part of "summer hiatus" after all.

Oh, and repeat after me (to the tune of Steve Ballmer): "Decaf, decaf, decaf, decaf!"

Steve Ballmer freaks me out a little bit, to tell you the truth. He looks as if he really ought to be yelling "Decaf, decaf, decaf, decaf!" (even though it would be visually incongruous, a sort of oxymoronic semaphore?), but it's ultimately easier for me to conjure up an image of him, were he mysteriously compelled to invoke various substances, screaming something more along the lines of "Speedball, speedball, speedball, speedball!"

I keep coming back here to read about the amish. First 4 of them, then 5. Who knew this is what illicit coffee would bring!
xo

p.s. Steve Ballmer spit on me once, during a meeting.

Oh, god, now I'm thirsty for coffee.